Babywise vs Attachment Parenting
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The Attachment Parenting (AP) vs. Babywise (BW) …
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The debate that seems as hot as Creationism vs. Darwinism.
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I have read a lot on attachment parenting since the majority of my life’s passion revolves around people who highly support it. I am in the middle of reading Babywise right now though (which I shamefully admit I had not done thoroughly in the past) & here is what I can already tell you: Each side seems to take the wrong approach & fuels misconceptions of one another.
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In this Peaceful Parenting blog post (This blog IS one of my favorites to follow, btw) some of the things said about what Babywise tells parents to do- arent fully accurate. This wasnt intentional necessarily but because of each persons natural bias towards what they believe is right, often we see a bit of inaccuracy when trying to explain the “other side”.
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As much as I have found some things (so far) in the book Babywise that I simply dont agree with, the book DOES make it pretty clear that we as parents arent stupid & to have common sense & listen for your babys cues.
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HOWEVER- the author is terrible at throwing any & all things associated with Attachment Parenting under the bus. He has a way of making anything related to co-sleeping, baby wearing, baby led feedings etc seem as if they are harmful to you or your child- which is just not true. My recommendation is to read up on what Attachment Parenting is & why so many people love it BEFORE you read Babywise, because his explanation in the book of what AP is, is highly flawed.
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It’s hard for me to read the constant misconceptions from both sides. Each side can seem to find data that supports not just how their parenting style is best, but more so how the other is BAD. Seriously it has a hint of shady politics… bashing the other side really doesn’t do anyone much good. As a researcher I rarely feel compelled to join a side whose *main* argument is how the other side is flawed.
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I want to read all the reasons why each side is beneficial & helpful from the side that supports it. Leave your opinion of the competition out of it. Give me the opportunity to draw my own conclusions by reading the pros to both sides, argued by the side who believes in it. Let me weigh the benefits/risks & make my own choice as a parent. I tend to get a sour taste in my mouth when someone’s main goal is to point out the “wrong” in the other side. I could care less why you think the other side isn’t right for me… if you aren’t giving me enough to show me why your side is, then Im not biting.
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I can see positives to BOTH of these parenting styles. I think ALL things in life do better with a balance. No *one* side on anything is *always* 100% right or the other 100% wrong.
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So parents… educate yourselves. Read up on the reasons for Attachment Parenting. Read studies that show you how helpful it might be to your childs development. Read the book Babywise for yourselves & research the benefits of that as well. Really, ignore anything the each side states about their competition. It’s by nature a biased opinion. Try to only read the reasons that show support for whichever side you are researching at that time… and then do a blend of what works for you.
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You know your body, your baby, your circumstances in life & you are ultimately responsible for the choices you make regarding your parenting.
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Thats just my opinion. Please feel free to comment as well! 
| Print article | This entry was posted by Julie Wannamaker on December 22, 2010 at 10:18 pm, and is filed under Uncategorized. Follow any responses to this post through RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback from your own site. |
about 2 years ago
I have never read Babywise, but have listened to the Prep for Parenting tapes by Gary and Anne Marie Ezzo, which I believe are similar. It works great for our family. I can’t say we’ve followed it to the letter, but from my experience, my children are much better behaved than most of the children I see day to day, and I do believe it’s a result of our parenting method, not some freak of nature that I’ve received two unnaturally ‘good’ kids, as some people would like me to believe. I also feel that people should do their research as parenting is probably one of the single greatest undertakings in this life! To me, the first and most important thing to look at when researching a parenting method is not what they talk about, whether it’s the pros or cons of their own theory, or someone else’s, but the happiness, contentment, respectfulness and obediance of their children. Sure, kids will be kids, and I don’t think they need to be little robots, but I would be wary of following the advice of any parent who’s child is screaming, running amok and never taking heed of their parents word. I do believe that a child’s behavior is a direct result of how they have been raised. Personally I just didn’t see many people using AP who had respectful and content children. That’s why my husband and I chose to use Prep for Parenting/the Babywise method, as we saw the results that method stated we would, in the children of parents who followed it.
about 2 years ago
I agree completely! I have never understood the arguing or competition over different parenting styles. What has always bothered me is how other moms just tear each other down over what they perceive as “poor parenting”. I’m an expert on no one’s child but my own, and honestly, most days I don’t even really feel like an expert on them even!
I have not read “Babywise” but I have read “The Baby Book” by Dr. Sears & found different ideas that have helped me in there. I also read “The No-Cry Sleep Solution” and “Solve Your Child’s Sleep Problems” by Richard Ferber – 2 COMPLETELY different books but I found things of value in each.
So to wrap it up – I agree, balance is always best and people should stop trying to belittle or misrepresent things they don’t understand. At the end of the day, we’re all just trying to do what’s best for our kids!
about 2 years ago
I am VERY AP (bedshare, BF, babywear, etc), but as you wrote, Babywise is very misunderstood- as is AP. Here’s the bottom line… Different baby/parent combinations thrive in different situations. My son was in the NICU and I pumped to establish my supply, but stlil had supply issues when he came home. He would nurse for 45min every hour some days. If I had attempted any sort of schedule, my supply wouldn’t have been up to par. Now that he is 7 months, he is pretty predictable, but not because I made a schedule for him to follow. The whole “parents know best and babies create horrible routines if you don’t give them one” is something about babywise where I don’t agree. I’ve never followed a clock, but around 4-5 months, my son was on his own schedule. As he gets old, he naturally sleeps more at night and less during the day. At the same time, I foster an environment that allows him to play and rest as it best suits him. He doesn’t do a rotating block of time and I don’t follow a clock. I watch his cues and follow my internal maternal clock. Some of my babywise friends misinterpret AP as an unorganized mess where my baby doesn’t get enough sleep. AP is all about principles and not specific ways of going about daily life.
On the other side, babywise tells parents to listen to your child and one friend had her son on a 2.5 hour schedule instead of the tradition 3 hour one. In the end, if you aren’t happy, you need to change what you’re doing. Don’t try to put yourself in a box, read a lot, try new things, and do what makes your house flow best.
about 1 year ago
I completely agree with you. Why such a divisive issue?? Why do we attack each other? I’m a Babywise mom and have probably read the book about 20 times. People against Babywise have rarely read the book and I’m always surprised at the misconceptions and misinterpretations of it. I’m just not an AP kind of mom…I never could be. But for those that love that style…that’s great. I think that happy parents make happy kids…so if you find a style that works for you…there’s your great benefit right there!